I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
