We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
