those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize