Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
