I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
