just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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