On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
