quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
They took my balls.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
