i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
