What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
