He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
