I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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