Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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