So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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