She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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