We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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