I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
