So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
