Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
