your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
