i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize