We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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