My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
