Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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