sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
