i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
