made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
