I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
