it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
