Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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