and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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