Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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