were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
