felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
