I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize