My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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