doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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