you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
