Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
