Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you traded sex for a burrito?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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