Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
