Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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