i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
