Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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