we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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