How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
