I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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