take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
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Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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