You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
