there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
