my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
