We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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