Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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