i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
