did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
