I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
