I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
