margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
