I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
