Walk of Shame. In a state park.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
