Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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