I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
