You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize