ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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